Week 9, Thanksgiving week was a tough one. Holidays without Family, loved ones who have left the earth too soon, and now a loved one who was with us for many years, but is now gone…..how do we get through Holidays without Family?
I have learned this lesson for almost 10 years now. I lost my son Clifford Edwin Widmer, III to suicide in May of 2005. It took me many years to get back to the different version of myself now. I had to learn to be this new person I had become….a mom whose son was no longer here on this earth with me. A mom who would never be a Grandma, never have grandchildren, and whose heart would ache during the Holidays without him.
On November 26th at 9:15pm my beautiful Mother-in-Law left us…..while it was way past time for her to pass on, it still brought out the raw pain of loss……loss during the Holidays is felt ten fold for sure. It made me so incredibly sad, and grateful all at the same time. This is a very tough combination of feelings to deal with all at once. You see, Petey, as we called her, had suffered Alzheimer’s for many years. We have been sad for many years, but until death, really could not start the mourning process. So, while it was incredibly sad, it was answer to prayer at the same time. Finally she is at peace, not trapped in a body where she didn’t even know her family. While we prepare to leave to travel to her Funeral tomorrow, I had to take the time to get this post down on paper and prepare for the celebration of her finally being at peace. She is now whole again, no more sickness, beautiful beyond measure, and we will see her again sometime soon ♥
This happening this particular week, and all that I am involved with to fulfill my time here on earth, was almost too much to bear. However, I am strong, I have purpose, and I wake every day with excitement to share the God given gifts, my Definite Purpose in Life! With this now being who I am, I somehow get through all of the emotions of the Holidays without Family and am able to pick myself up and continue on this beautiful Journey.
So, we will be traveling early tomorrow morning to show the respect and love for Petey, and life on earth will go on. We must continue on even though it isn’t always easy to do. I am so grateful I am able to continue on this journey. Embracing the sadness, allowing myself to “feel it”, and then continuing on.
As we move from one Holiday on to the next, one of the hardest Holidays for me, other than “Mother’s Day”, I know that I will be okay. I am in control, I am pursuing my Definite Major Purpose in life which keeps my sons memory alive! His Legacy will live on way past my time here on earth, so I keep on my journey…..thankful that his death will have a purpose, a meaning, and live on Forever!
Peace be the Journey my friends♥
There is no such thing as Luck, Chance, or Coincidence♥
Priscilla L. Brooks, Entrepreneur at Heart♥