This week, we were to give no “Opinions”. In regards to “Opinions”, my week started off a bit slow. I was thinking about it, and waiting for these “Opinions” to show up. And of course they did, a few times indeed. And it was tough….I really struggled with not giving them. But the awareness I believe was the best part of the battle♥
What a strong start I had….everything was in line, I was doing all of my readings, etc. And then…..I did another amazing thing….something that had soothed me since the loss of my son…..something I did every morning to wake up my brain and get my day started. You see, Mark J had told us in many previous sessions 
that we must get rid of the chatter…the noise if you will. And I had made many changes this session that I simply refused to do last session. I had been conditioned to have the TV on in the bedroom all night long. In fact, our TV is never turned off. This is a habit that my husband had, and it took quite a lot for me to get used to this habit of his. But since it had become a habit, getting rid of it was tough, very tough. While the TV is still on all night, there is not sound. I turned it all the way down so I cannot hear it. May sound simple, but this was huge. But what I do every morning, without fail, is get on my tablet, check in on things on FB and then go to mind numbing games on FB. I started this habit when I was in the deepest time of my grief. I lost my son to suicide in May of 2005 (CliffsStory), and in 2007 my husband got a job in NV and we decided to move. I was actually going to be traveling back and forth from CA to NV and keep my job as a Loan Officer in the Mortgage business, but that was just in time for the Mortgage Meltdown…..we lost our home to foreclosure, and I had to move to NV full time. I was all alone most of the day, which was a bit strange for me. I hadn’t really been on FB but this was how I made some friends, and got through a very tough time in my life. In fact, I still have those same few friends that got me through the lonely times. This mind numbing playing of games on FB helped me busy my mind with something that created a diversion from the pain. Well, guess what? I deleted every game off of my tablet this week. Yep, I got tired of the time I was wasting. Not just in the morning, but on the weekends, time that I could help myself reach my burning desires….I was on my tablet, diverting.
This was a huge breakthrough for me. I felt so accomplished. And then……
I had trouble sleeping 3 nights in a row, and the last of these 3 nights was the worst. I had such an incredibly painful headache. In fact, I hadn’t had anything like this happen to me since I lost my son. Hmmmm…or better yet Wow!!! Is it possible that I was feeling something that had been suppressed from back in 2005? This coping mechanism, diversion, can keep you from truly getting through the process. But wow, I was just amazed at the strength of all of this.
So, after a very tough week, I am still claiming victory! Although I got side tracked on my readings and sits, I am still not playing those games. And I am engaging in my home life. Which is where I have had such an imbalance over the years.
I am pressing forward, and cannot wait for Week 6-2.
Stay tuned for the crazy and beautiful things that will happen to me this week.
There is no such thing as Chance, Coincidence or Luck♥
Priscilla L Brooks, Entrepreneur at Heart♥
Lets Connect ~ CillasMKMMA@gmail.com
